Do appearances count in relationship

Our shadchan looks at physical and mental attraction

by Marianne Giselle Franks (Shadchan)
The Jewish Singles Events & Matchmaking Company

Written on 8/Dec/2011

 

The two important stages of relationships are physical and mental attraction.

There must be physical attraction without this the mental attraction cannot develop; Jewish Men are much more visual creatures than Jewish women and make their initial assessment of a woman in the first 12 seconds.

Men are the hunters and women are the prey... that is the law of nature, women should accept this and never chase a man. If he truly wants her the man will come after her.

Men can annoyingly also be   too eager to dismiss a woman if she does not quite reach what they deem to be perfection in their eyes. Normally these men have many issues with themselves. So ladies do not take it too heart... I once dated a gorgeous Jewish man whom had more issues than the big issue has seen in print. The relationship was because of this doomed before it began.

So it is important to make the best of yourself, not to look like somebody you are not, to bring out the best in yourself. Look after your physical appearance to attract a special someone. Of course there must be more to one. Looks alone will not sustain anything more than merely a sexual relationship.

Women also judge on appearances however, we can also be won over by a sparkling warm kind and affectionate personality.

One does not need to spend a fortune to look good, or have the latest designer fashions...know you shape face body skin hair tone... if you are no good employ a stylist.

My dating agency is also a styling agency, we give many of our clients complete make over’s. It is such a delight to see clients eyes sparkle at the fabulous difference.

For a relationship to work there needs to be a physical and mental attraction... However take urgent notice. If you are in a relationship and your boyfriend introduces you as his friend. Something is wrong... and I would seriously think of dumping him.

Some men are unable to cuddle... this is not normal. If a man cannot cuddle a woman and tell her how he feels about her, he has emotional problems.

The same of course applies to a woman if she treats her boyfriend as just another guy she knows in front of her friend’s... Not good!

Your partner should make you feel wanted, needed. Adored loved and very special.

In essence extremely content and happy.

Clearly there will on occasion be arguments, this is normal and part of life. However if your partner over reacts and feels because you have argued theory cannot see you any longer...They were probably not that keen in the first place, or have serious issues and perhaps may even need therapy. A normal person accepts that arguments occur occasionally.

 

A good way to diffuse an argument is to say,” By the way I love you!"  Of course only say it if you mean it... This is mostly for married or engaged couples, or if of course you have fallen in love...

Though it would make a rather unusual marriage proposal during an argument... certainly one to tell the grandchildren.

So to sum up ladies and gents look good be lovely to your partner and be yourself.